


every time I wonder how I'd carry on without you

by cityjoker



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, One Shot, Post-Season/Series 01, ava taking care of her sisters, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:48:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cityjoker/pseuds/cityjoker
Summary: “You look tired, Bea.”
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 28
Kudos: 252





	every time I wonder how I'd carry on without you

**Author's Note:**

> title from real estate by adam melchor

“You look tired, Bea.”

Beatrice spares a glance away from the countless papers and books spread out on the floor in front of her to raise a single eyebrow in a challenging look at Ava.

“I- I mean, not in a, ‘wow, you look really ugly right now’ kind of tired, it’s just a, ‘you’ve clearly been overworking yourself and I’m kind of worried about you’ kind of tired.”

Another beat of silence passes, and Beatrice’s gaze stays rooted on a blank part of the page, while Ava takes in the state of the room that they’re in - the living room of some rich man’s holiday home. The pillow and blanket strewn across the couch serving as Beatrice’s makeshift bed, the growing number of coffee mugs threatening to fall off the tiny marble table, and the fur rug, barely visible beneath the texts that Beatrice had been going through in hopes of just a single clue on how they were going to win this war.

Beatrice looks up then, and Ava can see the dark circles under her eyes. She looks absolutely exhausted. They all are, she supposes. Mary’s been out day and night trying to hunt down Vincent, Lilith seems to be having a hell of a time, if her constant warping between realms is anything to go by, and Camila’s just trying her best to keep everything together.

Everything. Together. Ava thinks about what exactly that means to her. She doesn’t think she’s even experienced enough of life’s anything to understand the heaviness of the word everything.

Most of the anything Ava has experienced has consisted of trying to fight demons, failing, and watching her sisters do it for her. So of course, it goes without saying that in this life, her sisters are her everything.

And she needs to keep them together.

“Thank you.” Beatrice’s voice, slightly raspy because she can’t remember the last time she chose a glass of water over a good cup of coffee, brings Ava out of her thoughts.

“For?”

“For worrying. Caring. About me. Us.”

“Of course, Bea.”

A fragment of a smile graces Beatrice’s lips as she moves to turn back towards her books. Ava gently grabs her wrist.

“Hey, no. You need to rest.” Ava’s voice is barely above a whisper, half afraid that if she spoke any louder, she would break the woman in front of her because she has genuinely never seen Beatrice this fragile before.

“I need to find out how to defeat-“

“Adriel, yes, I know. But you’ve been at it for days, Bea. Take a break, and you can continue tomorrow?”

Her gaze comes up to meet Ava’s, and Ava hopes she can tell that she’s not going to leave her alone until she gives in.

Beatrice lets out a sigh, and Ava grins, knowing she’s won. Without a word, she sweeps Beatrice up, earning a surprised yelp from Beatrice, and starts carrying her, bridal style, towards one of the house’s well-furnished rooms.

“This is completely unnecessary, by the way.” Beatrice wraps an arm around Ava’s neck to steady herself, and her words are firm, but her voice betrays a hint of a smile.

“Oh, I know.” Ava chuckles. “Just wanna show off my superpowers every once in a while, you know?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Careful, I might drop you.”

Ava does quite the opposite of that, setting Beatrice on the king-sized bed with a gentleness she seems to only reserve for these quiet moments with Beatrice. She hovers for a moment inches away from Beatrice’s face, and reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Right here, where Ava can see every fleck of colour in Beatrice’s eyes, she has no doubt that the woman in front of her is the most breathtaking person she’s ever laid her eyes on.

“I’ll be back, okay? Get some rest.”

Ava shuffles out of the bedroom, and catches a glimpse of Beatrice pulling the covers over herself as she closes the door. She makes her way to the kitchen, where she washes the dishes that have piled up in the sink over the past week. She fills two flasks with sweet nettle tea - one for Camila, one for Lilith - and hopes she hasn’t completely butchered the recipe that Camila taught her a few days ago. She grabs painkillers for Lilith, a sandwich for Mary, and goes around each of their bedrooms setting her gifts for them on their bedside tables.

When she returns to Beatrice’s room, the girl is already fast asleep. A few wisps of hair have fallen in front of her face, and every time she exhales, they float just barely off her face, then come to rest across the arch of her nose once again. Ava watches this for a few moments, and it reminds her of how she spent the first few days with the halo by the beach, watching the ebb and flow of the ocean water, feeling the sand run through the gaps between her fingers. How when she found the beach, suddenly, everything made sense. 

She brushes the hair from Beatrice’s face, careful not to wake her, and hopes that everything will make sense again, soon.

She supposes taking care of the others is the least she can do, considering she doesn’t have half the sister-warrior skills of anyone else.

It’s not much, it’s not the everything that they deserve, but it’s something.

Ava hopes that’s enough. 

(It is.)

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to the wn discord server im sorry i have literally never sent a message there bc i am such a lurker but yall are really cool and the stuff yall come up with is genius,, also this is my first fic so i would really appreciate comments so i can get better at writing! love yall


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